An Open Letter to My Husband

Dear Husband,

I get it. You're stressed. Who can blame you? You have no job, a mortgage, and two young children driving you nuts. It's not easy being the stay-at-home parent. Hey, unless you have forgotten, I have 2 years of that under my belt. And do not TRY to tell me it is harder for you than it was for me. At least the kids can talk (somewhat) and let you know what they want. Unlike what I had to deal with which was crying. Loud, piercing crying. And no clue what those cries meant most of the time.

But if you want to get through this brief period in your life (and it will be brief I'm sure. Yes, the job market kind of sucks for your area right now and no, you don't want to just take any job just to have a job) without giving yourself a heart attack you have GOT to figure out how to let the small stuff slide. Yelling back at the kids when they are tired and cranky isn't going to make them happy cheerful beings.

I'm just as guilty. I get frustrated, lose my cool, yell over tiny transgressions. I'm not perfect. But I want to try to stay calm. I want to try using positive reinforcement. And I can't do that if you decide to yell at me too.

Children learn by mimicing the behaviour they see. Obviously if we are at each other's throats they will start acting the same. So stop with the condescending remarks to me. Stop making me feel like I have done nothing to help maintain the house. Your comments aren't appreciated and just get me pissed off. And the follow up of "I was only joking" is not appreciated. Your "jokes" do not feel like jokes to me. I've told you this numerous times and yet you don't seem to get it.

For the time being I am the one who has to get up, get ready, and leave the house for work. When I was the one home all day and YOU left for work I certainly didn't expect you to do a bunch of childcare related things when you were trying to get ready. If you did, it was appreciated but honestly, you barely had anything to do with our kids until the first one hit 2. And don't try to protest, you know it and I know it. Let's move on.

You'll probably never read this. But I feel better just getting it out.