Ohh, that's nasty!

There are things that I say to my husband that are so clever but yet, so dirty that I hesitate to share with most people. Well, what fun is that? I'm sure you will soon see, I am all about fun (in my lovely alter-ego, alternate reality kind of life. In real life I am a play it safe, follow the rules, don't rock the boat kind of girl. I really must have the two sides meet up someday. Maybe we can mud wrestle for supreme control of my personality).

Anyway...to give some background, my husband likes me to Swallow. I hate Swallowing. In fact, I hate having it in my mouth period. Blech! But I will humor him occasionally and go along with his desires. After one such time he called out to me as I went over to the sink

Husband: "What is worse, semen or Buckley's?" (I was suffering from this niggling little cough that just would NOT go away. So I suffered through Buckley's. Lemme tell you: it tastes awful and it don't work worth shit!!)

Me: "Well, I swallow Buckley's"

Now, I will admit that I DID NOT mean it to come out like the clever retort it did. That was pure luck. I'm pretty sure in my head I was supposed to have the words "have to" in front of swallow. But it popped out as above and hilarity ensured. My husband has a very quick, dry, clever sense of humor and he appreciates a good one-liner. I was Queen of Sexual Innuendo for the rest of the night.

************
There was another time I got off a really good come back. My husband decided to use the front door instead of come in through the garage. I saw him so I opened the door for him (yeah, I'm a sweet wife for that huh?) As I open the door he greets me with this:

Husband: "Have you let Jesus into your heart?" (I'm not religious at all so he was trying to be funny)

Me: "That's not the only thing I've let him in to."

He gives me a quick look and busts out laughing. Once again, I was Queen for the day for that one.