Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Parking Lot Etiquette

The holidays are over. We have once again settled into our regular hum-drum existances and a trip to the mall is no longer the cause of a major anxiety attack. Parking lots, for the most part, are easy to access with plenty of spaces for all.

So, let's just go over some basic etiquette, shall we?

#1: You know those really close spots? The ones right by the entrances, I'm not referring to the Handicap parking (though really, the perfectly able individuals I see parking there just because they happen to have the sticker on their car is really a piss off. If you don't have the handicapped individual WITH you, you do NOT have a right to that spot) I'm referring to the latest innovation of "family friendly malls": the New or Expectant Mother spots/Parent or Grandparent parking. See these spots are designed to make it a little easier on pregnant gals lumbering along with their massive bellies and swollen ankles and for harried moms and their kids trek through the parking lot with all the assorted kid gear a bit safer. So, to the dude with the massive gut that most likely is a result of too much beer and pizza and NOT a miracle of modern science, get the HELL out of that spot!!!

#2: Parking space stalkers...get off my ass!! I do not appreciate being tailed through the lot by a slow moving vehicle, just waiting to pounce on my spot. It makes me feel like I'm about to be arrested or something.There are lots of spaces out there, go find one and stop bugging me.

#3: Parking space dawdlers, when you have reached your car get in, put on your belt and get the FUCK out!! I do not appreciate having to wait while you fluff your hair, reapply lipstick, search in your purse for a mint, or make a phone call. All of this should have been done previous to entering your vehicle or once you reach your new destination just before you get out of the car again. And when you do FINALLY choose to back out, BACK OUT!! Don't back out part way, pull back in, turn the wheels, try again, etc etc etc...this just gets the blood boiling of whoever would like your spot OR if that person was stupid enough to wait for you to back out before proceeding out of the lot. It isn't rocket science to back out of a parking spot so if this is an issue for you, STOP DRIVING!!

Thank you for your time and happy shopping :)


Nathan said...

Well said! Makes us glad we take the subway (there's a whole 'nother list involved with that, though).

Shelle said...

I agree with #2! When I see that someone is waiting for my spot I get all nervous for some reason! Like I can't get out of the spot fast enough!
Funny post! Stopping by from SITS!

Anonymous said...

Great list. May I add a few?

The ones who don't know HOW to park. They pull into a spot that is right next to your DRIVERS side of the car but because they don't know [how to] park they leave about a 5inch space between their passenger side and your drivers side. [Ugh].

Okay that was only one but it happens to me ALL the time lol!

Tammy said...

Hi there...stopping by from SITS! I use to work retail and hated parking. Nothing like having to get there 30 minutes before my shift just to find parking. I had one guy get out of his car and yell at me (I was only 23 then)...scared the crap out of me, I moved my car thinking that if I didn't it would of been keyed! Stop by and say hi!

Anonymous said...

Stopping by from SITS! I know what your talking about...I hate it when someone is waiting for my space (which is never close anyway because I drive a honking big truck). They sit there and give me "oh my gosh can't you hurry up" looks, as if they didn't notice the cart full of groceries and kiddos that I have to manage to get in the car on a sloped parking lot!

Young Wife said...

I'm with you on #2! As for #1, some people appear able bodied, but they actually have serious disabilities. My husband, for instance, appears fine most days, but he's actually in an incredible amount of pain from his arthritis. You never know what someone is going through. Stopping by from SITS.

Heather said...

I completely agree and I'd like to add another.

Just because your car costs more than your college education, that does not entitle you to take up 2 spaces. Parking diagonally doesn't keep you from getting dinged by another car, it only increases the chance that your lovely paint job will be keyed!

Stopping by from SITS.

Robin said...

LOL!!! Hilarious! Funny post! Thanks for sharing! We ALL are thinking these thoughts. Malls and places like that should get on the parking deck band wagaon along with regular parking- makes it SOOOO much easier. This American sprawl crap really is an idiotic way to build.


Martin and Luschka said...

My new pet pieve (apart from people without babies/bellies parking in parent spots!) is when people can SEE you still have to put the baby in the car seat and they start glaring at you cause you're taking too long, or even worse, ask you if you're planning on leaving anytime soon. My baby being strapped in right is WAAAAAAAY more important than your manicure sweetheart! And then, because they've been impatiently waiting they've been inching forward so you can't actually reverse out in the direction you should without hitting them, so you (or I) end up going the wrong way up a one way...

Okay - didn't realised how much that bothered me till just now!


Stopping by from SITS

Heather said...

Love this post as it is all true. I also think their should be a post on shopping cart steering etiquette. Don't get me started!

Thanks for stopping by my blog!

nuckingfutsmama said...

Haha! Guess this subject hits a nerve with just about everyone, huh?! I love your #3 with the fluffing of the hair & the reapplying of the lipstick -- that drives me batshit crazy too! The person HAS to realize that someone is waiting for their spot, and if not, then they are WAY TOO self-centered to be going to an overcrowded mall in the first place.

Thanks for the laugh!
Nuckingfutsmama :-)

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